Corners like a Weasel in a Drainpipe

I read an auto review this weekend - Hoo Haa! It had some good quotes such as:

...setting aside her taste in husbands ...
Yes, yes, your electroluminescent gauges and dials are all very pretty, ...
...comes in four flavors: ...more about this later.
...involves crushable structures in the upper front ...
...has good bones.
...an endless source of infantile thrills, a high-fructose sports compact with all the yank and snatch of a tuned...
Think psychotic hamster.
...loud and ungenerous and frantic, endlessly seesawing over...
...is leathery and the "tuned" intake system, routed through the fender well for more wailing resonance, performs exploratory surgery until it finds your last nerve, and then gets on it.
I suspect a case of overcompensation.
...has stiffer springs and dampers and larger sway bars, as well as big and sticky, 17-inch ...
...has been relocated lower and closer to the hub axis for better feel ...
... corners like a weasel in a drainpipe.
...computerized cylinder head...
...more stirring than 10-year-old house paint.
...gear shifts must be accompanied by the most feathered clutch work possible...
... I'm more than happy to tolerate the punchy and overwound quality in exchange for its quite ridiculous handling.