Blonde (2)

Amy, a blonde Texan city girl, marries a Texas rancher.

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows the rancher says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, okay?"

So the rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along a long row of cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one.....right here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another dizzy blonde, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall," Amy explains.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

"I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him as she walks away.

Laws of the Natural Universe

People who write this kind of stuff are such pessimists. I especially like the "Law of the Logical Arguement."

These are the laws of the natural universe:

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Law: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about!

Blondes (1)

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and
was pulled over by a female police officer who also happened to be a
blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. The driver dug through
her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look
like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The
driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the
policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Cool Bumper Sticker

World Championships This Century
Red Sox 1 ..........Yankees 0

CAPITALISM and/or FAIR PLAY

A guy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town, doing what guys and girls do on back roads some distance from town.
As things really started getting hot, the girl stopped the guy and said, "I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex."
The guy reluctantly paid her, and they went on with their business.
After they finished, the guy lit up a cigarette, sat back in the driver's seat and stared out the window.
"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl.
"Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25."

Weekend at Clarkson University

Pat and I drove up to Clarkson for Parent's Weekend on Friday - 3 hours across the Adirondacks. There was snow starting on top of Prospect Muontain in Lake George, peaking at 6 - 7 inches of wet and heavy birch bending snow in Indian Lake and all the way to the Hudson/St. Lawrence Divide near Blue Mountain Lake. Zac was in good spirits, very glad to see his Mom.

We attended 2 hockey games. Friday, Clarkson beat Wayne State 5 - 2. Saturday, they beat them again 7 - 1. At the game we found Pat's cousin with his two sons. The older one, Alex, is also a freshman this year.

Zac sent us to bed both nights after the hockey game so he could go out with his buds.

We had a great room, though, at The Brambles Inn & Gardens, so we didn't mind too much. Our room was the one to the left at the top of the landing on this page of their website. The hallway wall painting was done by local artist who works at the son's store downtown. Additionally, I couldn't have been happier considering what Clarkson has to offer the metallurgist: The Center for Materials Processing!

Iraq Deaths

Recent news has reported that, unfortunately, we have lost 2000 souls to the war in Iraq. Outside of Saratoga Springs, NY, on Route 29 West there is a guy who plants yellow flags for each US serviceman who has died. He updates the count banner (center top of picture) once a week. Pat and I took this picture on September 18, 2005. At that time, the count was 1881. If you are having trouble seeing it, just double click on the picture to view it at full size.

This past weekend, Pat and I went to Potsdam, NY to visit her son, Zac, at Clarkson University. While we were there on Saturday walking around town in the morning, we went over to SUNY Potsdam and found another Iraq memorial that used 1/8" diameter wooden dowel rod stuck in the ground to represent Us servicemen, Coalition forces and Iraq personnel that have died in the war. As of October 8, 2005, when this exhibit was erected, the estimate was 28 - 29,000 people. Here is a shot of part of the exhibit. Pat was wondering what it is going to look like in the Spring after the snow has its way with all of these dowel rods.