Pat: TiVo Definition

The Case: Since TiVo launched in 1997, it has been consistently applauded. The company name is used by consumers as a verb (to "TiVo" a show is to record it for later viewing), and customer satisfaction is off the charts. But TiVo has never generated a profit nor come close to winning the number of customers it originally expected. The company is now on the brink of profitability--but is also highly vulnerable.

More: http://www.technologyreview.com/articles/05/09/issue/brief_actor.asp

Melissa, This One is for You

MSNBC.com
Updated: 10:14 a.m. ET May 17, 2005

Daughters and dads are known to have a special relationship. But when daddy's little girl starts to turn into a woman, fathers often find themselves at a loss for words. In his latest book, "Boys Will Put You on a Pedestal (So They Can Look Up Your Skirt): A Dad's Advice for Daughters," Phillip Van Munching shares advice based on personal experience for tackling both difficult-to-discuss topics and everyday life.

Boyfriends (or, Three Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter)

Three Rules (with much more detail at link above):
First, make sure that you date boys because you honestly like them.
Second, date guys within a year or two of your own age.
Third, most importantly, make sure that your boyfriends treat you with respect. Always. If they take you for granted, dump 'em.

I love you, Melissa!
Dad

Competitive Women

Pat and her 2 sisters got together this weekend and for unknown reasons decided to go to a male strip club.
Ever trying to out do each other, Susan gets out a $20 bill and slips it under the stripper's G-string.
Ann, figuring she'll put that Susan in her place early, gets out a $50 bill and puts it under the G-string also.
The stripper, thinking he has hit the jackpot with these 3, dances up next to Pat and gyrates waiting for her tip.
Pat, who has always been the smartest and the loveliest of the 3 sisters, whips out her ATM card, swipes it down the stripper's crack, grabs the $70 and calmly leaves the club.